A few years ago, we visited a church to listen to an organ concert and, on the way out, we discovered a pile of booklets, written by Reverend Joseph Sica, containing 46 daily messages … one for each day of the Season of Lent.
Yes, you are right, there are only 40 days in Lent, as the Sundays are not counted. However, Reverend Sica chose to include Sunday messages as well.
If my calculations are right, Thursday March 7th marks the midway point in the observance of Lent for 2013.
I’ve read through this booklet a number of times in the years we’ve had it, but there’s one that struck me this year that I seemed to have overlooked in the past. After I share Reverend Sica’s message, I will explain why I connected to it in a very personal way.
Say Nothing At All . . .
After an eight-year battle with leukemia, his seventeen-year-old daughter was laid to rest. Many people offered their condolences: “She suffered so long, it’s a blessing.” “She’s in a much better place.” These words, though well intended, did nothing to ease his loss. Soon after the funeral, a neighbor stopped by to see him. She didn’t launch into a litany of platitudes. Instead, she just sat with him and held his hand. The grief-stricken man later said: “It was such a comfort, I wished she had stayed all day.”
I will tell you a secret. Helping those who are hurting or broken-hearted can be summarized in two words: Be there! You really don’t need to say anything. Accept all emotion, suspend all judgment, and resist the tendency to give advice or fix the problem.
You might not know exactly what to say, but that’s all right. You don’t have to have all the answers. When in doubt, be silent and give emotional support. Don’t feel pressured to fill the silence with chatter.
Allow the person to voice anger or sadness. A squeeze of the hand, a hug or a smile can be the best pain reliever. If you feel the need to say something, “I’m sorry” or “I care” will be more than enough. Have confidence in the power of simply being there.
Work for the soul: If you have a friend who is going through a difficult time, invite him or her over for dinner. Call, write a card, or send a short note. Be there as long as it takes. This helps the person look forward to your presence without asking for help again and again.
Words from the heart . . .
Dear God, I know when pain is fresh, my words should be few. Just showing up lets a friend know that I care. Amen. © 2007 Joseph F. Sica
Personal memory . . .
The most beautiful, sweet girl in my school class – which totaled no more than 50, so we all knew each other – was Anna Mae. As we entered our high school years, Anna Mae began missing more and more days of school. Finally we were told she had leukemia, a form of cancer … a word that I was hearing for the first time. During 10th grade, she lost her battle and passed away. Quite a number of us from the class attended her funeral, the first one ever for me. I remember few details of that day, except for one fact I’ve never been able to shed … not a single adult representing the school chose to attend.
Yes, it’s so important to be there. There’s been at least a couple of occasions over the years where I chose not to take the time or make the effort to attend a service for a person with whom I’d had a connection at a previous time. Afterward, I’ve regretted “opting out.”
“Lord, you have shown so much love for us. It is vital that we carry that love and share it whenever possible and wherever needed.”
Marlin
